Surrounded

After Amy’s cancer diagnosis, I was determined to share some of my favorite places with her. I am not sure why I felt compelled to ensure Amy visited these beautiful and exotic locations, but it was important to me. One of those destinations was Yellowstone National Park and the Grand Tetons.

Amy and I discussed and agreed that we did not want to put our life on hold indefinitely. So just a few months after she began chemo, we decided to plan a trip to these famous destinations assuming progress could be made with her cancer markers.

Keeping with the Year of No Budget theme, we spared no expense. We decided to fly to Cody, Wyoming where Mary and Jerry (sister and brother-in-law) would pick us up at the airport and take us into the park. This allowed for the transport of the contraption, a device that allowed any bed to be adjusted to upright positions, to our destination and allowed us to take the additional supplies we would need.

Camping was out of the question, so we jumped on getting reservations at various lodges within the park early to make sure Amy would be comfortable and have a place to rest after a day of sightseeing.

We caught a connecting flight in Denver and as we descended to Cody, Amy clutched my arm tight. She had never flown into such a small airport surrounded by mountains and was afraid we were going to crash until the runway suddenly appeared below the plane and we touched down.

As planned, our ride was waiting, and we wasted no time getting on the road into Yellowstone. Over the next ten days we visited many of the Park’s attractions including Lamar Valley, Mammoth Hot Springs, the Geyser Basin, The Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone, Old Faithful, and many more.

Late in our journey, Yellowstone was overwhelmed by flooding from the record snow melt and rain. We were eventually evacuated from the park late one evening just as we were winding down for the night. Fortunately, our lodge in Jackson at the base of the Teton mountain range was able to take us in a day early as we shifted south.

The Tetons were breathtaking, and we enjoyed a slow ride through the park, learned to fly fish on a local river, fished on Jackson Lake, and stopped at the many local shops.

Unfortunately, with her compromised immune system, Amy fell ill to Covid the last day or two of our trip and the journey home became a challenge. Several weeks later after she recovered, she spoke more fondly of the trip as we recalled some of the breathtaking views and memories together with Mary and Jerry.

About a month later, I was sharing some of the moments from our trip with my brother, Chuck. I expressed my disappointment that Amy did not seem to share my enthusiasm about seeing these places. He shared with me a different perspective.

“Over my career (in law enforcement), I have seen a lot of sad situations, including many individuals who were at the end of their journeys” he said. “I have found that most people don’t care about what they haven’t seen or done. What they care about the most in those moments is being surrounded by the people they love.”

Three months later I would remember those words. As Amy’s disease progressed rapidly, Amy was surrounded by our family. Although she was not conscious the last 48 hours (with one exception), I know she felt every hand that held hers and every kiss planted on her forehead. We read to her the outpouring of love and support communicated to us by friends, colleagues, neighbors, and acquaintances. I am sure she appreciated hearing every word.

As I forge ahead with this new life, I vow to remember my brother’s wise words. I will not sacrifice time with family and friends in a quest to hike the longest trail or see the most beautiful sunset. Instead, I hope to be side-by-side with them. To be surrounded. To love and be loved.