The Porkies

Listen to this reflection by playing the video below or continue down the page to read the full text version.

My September trip to The Grand Staircase-Escalante is looming on the horizon. I received an email from my guide this week informing me they have reclassified the trip from Medium-High intensity to Vigorous.

After my initial shock, I calmed down and dug a little deeper. The trip hasn’t changed but feedback from this Spring’s participants and guides caused them to reevaluate the intensity. The trek has a total of 2,559 feet of elevation gain which works out to an average of 853 feet per day. This is approximately the same as my recent trip to the Porcupine Wilderness Area State Park (more commonly referred to as The Porkies) in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. This trip is a good benchmark of my preparedness for the Utah trip.

I arrived in The Porkies at around Noon on Wednesday and checked-in at the ranger station to obtain my backcountry permit. The plan was to tackle the Escarpment Trail and then proceed down the North Mirror Lake Trail to Lake of the Clouds and one of the backcountry camping sites.

The buzz around the park (pun intended) was how bad the mosquitoes were this year due to the heavy snowpack and rapid spring melt. The temperature was just about 90 degrees when I reached the trailhead; a perfect match for what I might face in Utah. Because this was my first solo backcountry trip, I checked and double checked my gear before hitting the trail.

The first mile was straight up hill through thick forest. The advanced scouting report of mosquitoes was extremely accurate. On the ascent to the first peak, they were swarming. Fortunately, I had prepared by spraying my clothes and gear with Picaridin and applied a Picaridin lotion to my exposed skin. Although annoying, my preparation prevented any bites.

I reached the first peak and was gassed. My pack consisted of a tent, sleeping bag, sleeping pad, portable chair, one extra set of clothes and food and water rations. Totaled, they weighed slightly more than 36 lbs. My training weight was recommended to be 80% of the full weight, so I had been training with 28 lbs. I felt every ounce of the extra 8 lbs. as I trudged up the hill.

I expected the trail to level off on the ridge for the remainder of the 4 miles that afternoon. Instead, it was a constant up and down over a series of ridges with at least four journeys down and then back up again.

The one blessing was that while I was on the top of the ridges, a strong hot wind gave me some relief from the mosquitoes trying to penetrate my defenses. By the time I arrived at my campsite for the night, I was exhausted.

My first order of business was to establish my camp on the shore of Lake of the Clouds. I pitched my tent and situated my gear for the night. Next, I needed to refill my water supply. I attempted to get to the lake by my campsite but was thwarted by about 30 feet of mud separating me from the water source. I decided to hike back to the bridge crossing the stream leading out of the lake to avoid the mud. I was able to climb down onto the structure of the bridge to refill my water bottles using my Grayl water purifier.

Unfortunately, out of the wind, I was no match for the mosquitoes along the lake. I quickly gathered as many downed branches as I could from around the backcountry campsite and built a small fire. It provided enough smoke to keep the little vampires at bay while I prepared and ate my meal. For those interested, I used Pinnacle Foods freeze dried Creamy Tuscan Chicken with Penne Pasta. It far exceeded my expectations for a freeze dried meal and I enjoyed it immensely.

As I ran out of easily accessible fuel for my fire, I hung my food (and anything scented) on the bear pole provided with each camp site and made a hasty retreat to the safety of my tent for the remainder of the evening. I can’t say I really enjoyed my tent time, but the ferocity of the mosquito hatch left me no choice. In the future, I will be sure to download some audio books for entertainment when I am forced into my tent by the elements. For this trip, I just relied on my music and the park newsletter.

I decided to abandon my plans to hike 12 miles the next day on an easier trail through the deep forest. I much preferred to retrace my path on the tougher trail with elevation to more closely mimic my trip to Utah. It also had the added benefit of avoiding the mosquito hatch in the deep woods.

I did not sleep well that night given it was my first time in the backcountry alone but in the morning I was delighted to learn that one of the noises I had heard all night was actually a pair of wild trumpeter swans who were moving up and down the shoreline.

At 7:00 AM, I broke camp and hydrated at the bridge again forcing myself to drink one entire bottle of water before leaving the only water source until I reached the trailhead. As the day before, the first mile was uphill and a grind.

As I neared the top of the first ridge, I noticed a black lab about 75 feet ahead of me on the trail. As I was feeling encouraged that another hiker was already out and about, I noticed another larger moving black blob and quickly realized that I had come across not dogs, but a bear and her cub.

I immediately began to sing and slowly backed down the path a dozen steps as I watched Mama and her cub continue unperturbed on their way down the hill away from me. I made a mental note to be more cautious in the future when I see movement ahead of or behind me.

About halfway back to the trailhead, I was once again exhausted from my repetitive accents and descents on the trail. I decided to regroup and found a nice spot on Cloud Peak to rest.

As I gazed over Lake of the Clouds, I wondered what Amy would think of my grief journey. After eight months, I more often feel that I am just going through the motions and treading water than I am moving forward. Each day, I still tear up whenever a memory of her pops into my head or my voice cracks as I share something of her life with a friend. I miss her so much.

Make plans. Do Something. Keep moving forward. That has been my mantra as I go from day-to-day not knowing if the pain will ever subside or recede. Is it all just wasted motion? Am I avoiding my grief by walking hour after hour day after day? As I gaze at the beautiful view, I long for affirmation that I am doing the right things for myself and our kids.

I guess only time will tell. For now, I will be content with this breathtaking view and my successful trip to the Porkies. One step at a time.

Note: The photos for this vlog were from Porcupine Mountain Wilderness Area State Park in Michigan and Amicon and Pattison State Parks in Wisconsin.